The guest list can make or break your wedding. Making smart choices allows you to keep the peace, honor friends and family, and stay within your budget. How can you whittle down everyone you've ever met to a select few? Take a look at the top wedding guest list questions answered.
Who Should Make the Guest List?
This depends on your beliefs, your family's needs, and who pays for the wedding. In most cases, the couple getting married has control over the final draft. But this doesn't mean other people (outside of the couple) can't have a say in it.
If your parents, or your fiancé's parents, are paying for the wedding, they may have a few requests. If their requests become problematic, negotiate how many (and who) you feel comfortable with them adding.
Who Are Must-Have's on a Guest List?
Gone are the days of guest list rules that couples must follow. Whether you're not sure if you need to invite your fiancé's estranged father or your cousin's kids, consider these guidelines:
- Importance to you. Who do you want at your wedding? If the person holds special importance in your life, invite them.
- Importance to your fiancé. Who is important to your fiancé? Even though you might not know the guest, if your fiancé feels a person is significant, invite them.
- Importance to your life. If not inviting a specific guest will in some way detract or damage your everyday life, consider inviting them. This may include work friends, managers, or your boss.
Deciding who the must-have's are for you and your soon-to-be spouse is a first step in setting boundaries that will eventually translate into a manageable (and budget-friendly) guest list.
Should Children Come to the Wedding?
Like many other aspects of your guest list, this is a personal preference issue. Before deciding one way or the other, consider:
Is the wedding child-friendly? A late-night reception, a lengthy ceremony, or a menu of fancy foods that young children will not eat may preclude kids from your list.
Are the children meaningful to you or your fiancé? There's a significant difference between invited your siblings' children and your former college roommate's (who you haven't seen in a decade) kids. If the child or children hold special meaning in your life, invite them too.
Do you want children there? This is your wedding. If you prefer an adult-oriented affair, it's acceptable to nix kids from the guest list.
It's also acceptable to only invite children over a specific age, limiting your guest list to older kids, tweens, and teens—but excluding babies, toddlers, and young children.
What Other Considerations Should Couples Make?
While creating a guest list that fills your wedding with beloved friends and family is a top priority, this is an often-complicated process that involves multiple details. Considerations to make before finalizing your list include:
- Your budget. The amount you plan to spend on catering and other similar per-guest costs directly affects your guest list. Do the math before making any decisions.
- Your venue. Indoor venues have a maximum capacity. Ask the venue staff what this number is before adding anyone to the list.
- The number who will RSVP. It's not likely that every guest who's invited will come to the wedding. Consider who will realistically RSVP when setting your list number.
- The type of wedding. Is your wedding an intimate affair or a big bash? Put number limits on your guest list that match the overall type or style of wedding you want.
Along with these considerations, you'll also need to decide whether you're inviting plus one's or not. Again, set limits for this category too. Decide whether everyone gets a plus one or only spouses or significant others make the guest list.
Do you need the perfect venue for your dream day? Contact Chez Shari for more information.
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